ASK KATE Question #1: "Do you leave a tip for carry-out?"

Dear Rosco, 

First, I'd like to offer you some sympathy for the anguish you have surely been experiencing on this touchy subject. It's a decision that has plagued humankind for eons. I think Socrates may have written on this very topic. But you didn't ask Socrates' opinion, you asked mine. 

I have this thing I do I call 'deathbed regret avoidance.' When I'm faced with a decision I'm unsure about, I mentally put myself on my deathbed and consider how I'd feel at that moment, looking back on how I made the decision I'm facing now. If, in this conjured future state, I feel regret about having done or not done the thing I'm considering, I know that's not the way to go. Conversely, if I look back and feel good about my choice, bam! That's my green light.

If, on my deathbed, the lingering questions of my life are about tipping my carry out professional, I'd say I've done pretty well. It reminds me of the crazy year I had in college when I fantasized that all the white powder I had ever snorted would magically reappear on my pillow when I woke up one morning. Both scenarios are unlikely, but worth considering. So I thank you for submitting this question, to which I reply: yes, $1.

Love, 
kate the great

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